It's been a while, i know, and i have been horribly busy. Didnt even play FFXI, my otherwise favourite game, in quite a while. However, I did quite a lot of sports, to lose some weight.
Even if it might sound rather obsessed, I will give you a short insight into the whole dilemma.
When i was a bit younger, and still on the pill, i gained so much that i ended up with 72 / 73 kg which made me look like a pig. I am 178 cm tall (that is 5'10"), i know that you will most likely say "wha, but that is still totally slim" and so on - believe me, i was not. And it felt horrible. So I did some sports -- and achieved nothing. Even if I kept eating a bit less than before (I changed nutrition and i did quite some sports, but it didnt help). As sad as it might sound, the only times when i managed to get rid of some was during my bulimic and my anorexic times. Usually the bulimia followed the anorexia, because i like food and cant stand not to eat anything at all, so it looked like the better option. Despite all those talks about "you get the calories immediately after swallowing down the food" etc. I got down to 67 with that.
Then i managed to control myself and get back to normal, plus - I dont know how, but I somehow got down to 60. Yay, this is where i liked myself most. not less, not more. However, then i went to the USA for 10 days, and believe it or not, gained 6 kg. It really is true what they say about the size of the food there. Unfortunately i never managed to get rid of it, just keep it, until i got to the hospital for the jaw surgery. Since you are basically just allowed to eat soup, and later mashed potatoes and yoghurt (which you need almost an hour for!) I lost enough to get back to the 60s and felt awesome.
Then the real food came again, and with it the weight - now i'm on 64 - 65 again... it is unbearable. Whatever I do (loads of sports) it seems to not work at all... Probably because i sometimes have to eat in the evenings, due to my full schedule during daytime.
So my goal is to get those 4 - 5 kg down by the end of this year, the latest. Rather sooner than later....then i need to get something else done (nothing bad) and everything's good.
And also i apparently fulfill every bit of the AAD(H)D checklist from the english wikipedia website. Worrying? Yes, but only because someone listed the characteristics of my life without letting me know first. But it'd also explain the eating habit obsession (see the german wikipedia). It also explains why i keep being in some sort of emotional distress when i get pre-surgery-narcotics... like what happened last year (see previous post).
So, i have never seen a doctor about this. And i am most likely never going to, they would just laugh at me anyways. And hey, why be fixed when it is so extremely awesome to be a free spirit, even when you get heavy mood swings and are highly disorganised? You breathe in life, you are more sensitive than most people, you learn many different things because most things interest you... actually everything does, it is just a matter of how well for example the articles you inhale are being written.
Why is it good for me to know that it might be AADHD? I can tell the nurse in the hospital in december to not give me this pill.